"Most people aren't as influential as they think they are."
- Influence Redefined, page 3
"We have a misperception of what influence is and an outdated, inadequate understanding of what it means to be influential."- Influence Redefined, page 4
Hanke states that the common definition of influence is “the ability to motivate people to take action”. While certainly true, she says that this definition is incomplete. It implies that influence is something we do episodically when we want people to take action.
Hanke’s definition of influence is much broader:
The top thing that stood out for me in this definition was congruence. It got me wondering, am I consistent in what I believe and do and say?
According to Hanke, we must bring our “A” game to every instance of communication. Primarily, to show we care.
Hanke asks us to think about whether people have the same experience with us in a Tweet, a one-on-one conversation, a meeting, and a quick after hours text. She reminds me that I can’t facilitate a meeting with a powerful presence and then follow up with an email filled with typos and expect respect.
Note to self: In future, make sure I re-check texts before sending them—auto-correct is not always my friend!
"Influence is about the experience you create for someone else."- Influence Redefined, page 35
Hanke drives home the point that in order to be influential we need to ensure we’re meeting our audience’s needs, not our own needs. It reminds me of the old joke: “Enough about me, let’s talk about you… what do you think of me?”
She challenges us to think about every piece of communication as an opportunity to create a standout experience—even in a Tweet. The message was reinforced in a recent video interview I watched, where Chris Anderson of TED says every talk is an act of generosity if we ask “what gift could I give these people?”
"As much as you may not want to do it, videoing yourself is one of the greatest investments you can make in your life, both professionally and personally."- Influence Redefined, page 122
Hanke challenges us by saying that if we want to be more influential, and we do nothing else, we must video record ourselves speaking.
So I did. And I didn’t love what I saw or heard. But neither did the author, at first. However, she reminds us that it is important to see ourselves as our audience sees us.
Hanke provides a few quick review processes:
First watch the video from your listener’s viewpoint and dispassionately ask: “Would I be influenced by this person I see and hear on the video?”
Second, watch with no sound. Observe your body language, eye contact, gestures, facial expressions and movements. Do you look confident? Do your “non-verbals” support or distract from your message?
Third, listen without watching. Do you sound confident? Is your tone and are your speaking habits congruent with your message?
There’s more to being influential, but self-awareness and a commitment to practice, together with an unwavering focus on your audience’s experience, will take you a long way.
Stacey Hanke, Inc. exists to equip leaders within organizations to communicate with confidence, presence and authenticity, day in and day out. Combined, our team of mentors and consultants has more than 100 years of training experience. We’ve worked with executives, managers, technicians and sales leaders across the United States and on four different continents. Our individual backgrounds are as diverse as news and entertainment, sales and marketing, recruitment, diversity and inclusion, organizational development and investor relations.
