The Age of Unreason

How to Survive Change

"I argued that because most people do not like change, change is forced upon them by crisis and discontinuity. Thrown up against things, or into new arenas, we confront new possibilities and discover bits of ourselves we never knew were there. Discontinuity is a great learning experience, but only if we survive it."- The Age of Unreason, page 55

People react in two different ways to change. The first is to adapt. When a crisis happens or comfortable patterns change, sometimes we recognize the difference and realign actions and goals. The second reaction is to look at it as a failure and experience anxiety and depression and become overwhelmed and worried about what might happen. Interestingly the author’s attitude shifts back and forth between these perspectives and I think most people also do as we work through change. Worry about the future keeps us on our toes, but there is a point in which worry turns to inaction. When things change, if we recognize the right attitude to take we stay centered and focused. It is our focus that lets us envision the possibilities and the parts of ourselves we never saw before.

Have a Positive Outlook and Self-Confidence

"Affluence is a matter of mood and self-confidence as much as of economics, for dependency has its own imperatives."- The Age of Unreason, page 53

Being comfortable with change is what allows learning that leads to success according to Handy. In order to be comfortable with change, we must have a positive outlook and self-confidence. There are three essential qualities to cultivate:

1. Like yourself, respect yourself. This is empowering. Take responsibility for yourself and your future. Cultivate clarity and have a clear idea of what you want. Be motivated to get it, this is where the hard work comes in. Have the confidence to believe you can.
2. Reframe your world. Use a creative approach and try new experiments and different ways of thinking and doing things. Be naïve and take a learners perspective even when you are a pro.
3. Have a “negative capability” or a tolerance for failure. This is embracing imperfection. Forgive yourself and others, and consider mistakes a learning experience. This is the key to growth.

I believe “liking myself” is the key to everything because only when I value myself do I value my personal contributions. Reminding myself of my contributions gives me a sense of internal stability when things change. This is different from being self-centered because when you are self-centered you do not want to contribute. My contribution is essential because it creates a sense of value greater than I do alone. What do you do to feel good about yourself? How do you contribute?

Avoid Negative Blocks

"We have made the ‘job’ so essential to a man’s concept of himself, and now to many a woman’s, that the loss of it, often through no fault of their own, can shatter a sense of identity, of personal worth, of self-esteem, for a while at least."- The Age of Unreason, page 73

Negative personal perception is a block to learning and causes fear of change. A negative change or a major loss such as a job or a key relationship can cause dark feelings of disliking and blaming ourselves. We may feel inadequate and demoted. Sometimes organizations have a structure that promotes negative personal perception they force on employees, and it becomes a way of life and stunts the growth of an organization. There are two main beliefs that diminish personal worth and block the ability to change and learn:

1. “They syndrome” or feeling our future or our choices are someone else’s responsibility. Handy refers to it as “subsidiary” or stealing decisions. It is the feeling we do not control our future.
2. “Futility and humility” are feelings caused by four elements. The first is self-sacrificing, feeling the work has no value. The second is self-worth based on someone else’s opinion, the feeling of needing approval. The third is “theft of purpose” when we meet other people’s goals instead of our own. Finally, not forgiving mistakes or blaming. This destroys self-esteem.

Compromise is part of life. We control some things and not others. Power should be a balance. Are there things you control that should be someone else’s choice? Do you have control of your decisions? Do you make people feel worthless by imposing your goals or opinions? Do you value your own time? Restoring your sense of worth and valuing others lifts the obstacles to changing, learning and growing.