"Meaningful behavioral change is very hard to do. No one can make us change unless we truly want to change."
- Triggers, pages 4 & 7
"An excuse explains why we fell short of expectations after the fact. Our inner beliefs trigger failure before it happens. They sabotage lasting change by canceling its possibility."- Triggers, page 14
There are many belief triggers that can negatively impact our wish for change—most of them relating to our naïve beliefs that because we want to make the change, it will miraculously just happen. We give little consideration to our environment, which can eat away at our determination, sidetrack us from our goals and stop us from succeeding.
Environment shapes our behaviour, something Goldsmith believes is often not on our radar. In fact, creating more awareness of how our environment impacts us is one of his burning goals with this book. “We think we are in sync with our environment, but actually it’s at war with us.” He goes on to argue that “we willfully ignore how profoundly the environment influences our behaviour.”
When we enter a new environment, our behaviour can change in sly ways. Think about the people you hang out with—they likely influence your behaviour and change who you are.
As an example he walks us through the typical day of a working mother, who at home has control over her environment. What she says goes. But when she reaches her office, she slips into another persona and is part of a team and has less control over what happens.
In the work environment we will often prepare how we present ourselves for those big meetings, but it is the little moments that trigger some of our most unproductive responses. Goldsmith calls them “life’s paper cuts.”
He goes on to talk about situational leadership where we may start the day with goals and ideas of what we want to achieve as the leader. But as the day evolves, situations arise and our plans have to change, we become less the leader, and more the doer.
"When we bluntly challenge ourselves to figure out what we can change and what we can’t, what to lose and what to keep, we often surprise ourselves with the bold simplicity of our answers."- Triggers, page 96
Goldsmith explores ways we can change—as an individual and as part of a team. He introduces the Wheel of Change, which has four options –creating, preserving, eliminating, and accepting.
Often with teams he would ask them to select one activity from each option. He observes that when we are satisfied with life, we yield to inertia which is why he advocates coming up with something creative that’s new.
While preserving may sound passive, it is a real choice, one that we don’t practice enough. It requires some soul-searching to figure out what serves us well. “We rarely ask ourselves what in my life is worth keeping?”
Eliminating is the most liberating and therapeutic action, but we make it reluctantly he observes. Giving up something that hurts us is easier but the real test is sacrificing something we enjoy doing, so we can grow.
“Accepting,” he says, “is the rare bird in the aviary of change.” While acceptance is often viewed as acquiescence, accepting is most valuable when we are powerless to make a difference.
"Active questions reveal where we are trying and where we are giving up. In doing so they sharpen our sense of what we can actually change."- Triggers, page 114
Employee engagement is a two-way street. So often HR is blamed for lack of engagement but little time is spent asking employees about what they do to improve their situation.
Recognizing this gap, Goldsmith and his daughter undertook some research using active instead of passive questions, putting the onus on the employee to measure their goals and performance. What they found was those who were asked to answer the six active questions daily, were really engaged.
Committed to this concept of holding people accountable, Goldsmith asks active questions daily of himself and has found that it has made a profound difference in his life. He rates himself on a chart and can quickly see where he needs to make more effort.
Each question starts with: Did I do my best today to…?, set clear goals?, make progress on my goals?, find meaning?, be happy?, build positive relationships?, be fully engaged?
The questions, which can vary, depending on the individual’s needs, measure not just how the person has performed but how much he tried. Goldsmith also ties the questions into the Wheel of Change – in terms of learning something new (creating), expressing gratitude (preserving), avoiding angry comments (eliminating), and making peace (accepting).
While I was anxious to devour as much of the wisdom in the book in one read, there was much to be gained by stepping back, digesting and reflecting on what Goldsmith has written, and then reading on.
Dr. Marshall Goldsmith is a world authority in helping successful leaders get even better – by achieving positive, lasting change in behavior: for themselves, their people and their teams.
